Love Is Not Enough
by Kari Kurofai
Summary: Birchpaw confesses that he's different. BerryBirch slash.


Love Is Not Enough

***Heyah Pyro sweetie, I didn't forget about you. Here's the ficlet I promised u, sorry I've been so busy. Luvs and hugs***

**Life had never been something easy for Birchpaw. Not that it was for anyone, but sometimes he felt as if he'd seen the worst side of it long before his due time. He'd always been small, the smallest of the litter. The runt. And yet, somehow, he'd been the only one to survive. He'd watched both his sister, Hollykit, and his much larger brother, Larchkit, starve to death. Maybe it was because they were bigger than him that it had happened, he needed less food. And then, even after all that, he'd seen his older brother, Shrewpaw, killed by a monster the day before they were supposed to leave.**

**Birchpaw had no happy memories of that forest. The moment he'd opened his eyes for the first time, everything had already been falling apart. Literally. The sound of trees crashing down around him was burned into his mind, and even when he was still a kit, he woke from nightmares about the place.**

**But the lake was beautiful. It had been hard to get here, the cold and dangerous mountains bringing more cats to their deaths along the way. But he'd survived. Against all odds, he'd made it here, alive. Even though he was small, even though he'd lost almost everything, he'd made it. And he was glad he did.**

**The lake had so many more things to offer in his opinion. He could look across the water and see Riverclan territory, and even smell them from that distance if the wind was right. It was hard to believe that Thunderclan and Riverclan had once been right beside each other, instead of separated by this vast expanse of water. There was no twolegged place here, no permanent nests or roads, save for the rarely used Thunderpath on the far side of the lake. There were no monsters, no threats to their home. In Birchpaw's opinion, it was perfect.**

**There were cats here he never would have met if they'd stayed in the forest too. Or, one cat in particular. Birchpaw had been enthralled by him the very first time they met. No clan cat had fur like that, that beautiful light cream shade coupled with golden eyes. Meeting him was one thing about Birchpaw's delayed apprenticeship he was glad for.**

**Berrypaw was everything Birchpaw wished he could be. He was big and muscular, even as an apprentice, mirroring his mentor, Brambleclaw. And he was confident, even though he carried no clan blood. He bore his scars, even the ones that hadn't been earned in battle, such as his stub of a tail, with the utmost pride. And he was constantly loud and obnoxious, saying whatever was on his mind no matter the consequences. He was everything Birchpaw wanted to be, and so much more.**

**It didn't take the young apprentice long to realize that he was in love with the other tom cat. And at first, the thought mortified him. He'd dashed off to find his best friend, Whitepaw, the very moment he'd discovered what the name of the feeling truly was.**

"**You should tell Firestar," the more experience apprentice told him quietly, her muzzles close to his ear so she wouldn't be heard by the rest of her clanmates. "Or Ashfur," she added, thinking of her companion's mentor.**

**Birchpaw shook his head fiercely, "N-no! Ashfur wouldn't like it! He'd be mad at me!" He narrowed his eyes as Whitepaw snorted with laughter, "And anyway, why would Firestar understand? He has a mate, and two kits. He's perfectly normal cat."**

**Whitepaw flicked her ears in the direction of the Thunderclan leader's den, "You've never noticed? I know all the older cats miss the forest more than we do, but have you ever seen Firestar? Really seen him? Sometimes, he just sits there, staring off into space as if he's somewhere else entirely. And maybe he really is. He left so many things behind in the forest. Ravenpaw, Graystripe . . ." She hesitated, "And . . . Tigerstar. I wonder if he thinks that by leaving behind a grave, he left behind the cat."**

**The younger cat flinched at the name, "Tigerstar?" he hissed, eyes wide, "Why would he-"**

"**Go talk to him," Whitepaw urged gently, "I know he'll understand, Birch."**

**A few minutes later, with Whitepaw's insistence, more like shoving in Birchpaw's opinion, he was inside Firestar's den beneath the Highledge.**

**The ginger warrior looked up, surprised to see the small apprentice in his personal quarters, "Hello Birchpaw," he greeted, motioning with his tail for the little cat to come closer. "What can I do for you today?"**

**Birchpaw swallowed, taking a few tentative steps towards the Thunderclan leader. "Umm . . . I . . ." He couldn't find the words, "Firestar . . . What would happen if one tom cat . . . Loved another tom cat . . ." He closed his eyes, prepared to receive a scathing retort on sins and Starclan. But to his utter surprise, he merely heard Firestar sigh quietly.**

"**Love like that," the firry tom started, "is very painful, Birchpaw. Because it can never have a happy ending, no matter how much we may wish it did."**

**The autumn furred apprentice tilted his head to the side, blue eyes curious, "Like . . . Tigerstar?"**

**Firestar blinked, jerking his head up in surprise, "How did you-"**

"**N-not me, Whitepaw," he said quickly. "She's the one that told me to come here and talk to you."**

**The Thunderclan leader smiled, "She's just like her mother, that one. Perceptive." He shook his head, "But she's right. Do you know, Birchpaw, that I was the one that buried him? Everyone else just walked away, expecting some other cat would do it. But I came back that night and buried him. It was my duty, because I'd been completely unable to save him. I tried so hard, I wanted to bring him back home, to somehow make him see that ambition could only get him so far. But I failed, and in the end, he died right in front of me." He lifted a paw, staring at it in a far off way, "Sometimes, I can still see his blood staining my paws, though I know it washed off long ago."**

**Birchpaw swallowed.**

**Firestar looked at him again, the smile returning to his face, "But don't you worry about things like that, Birchpaw. Not every destiny is fraught with pain. But let me tell you this . . ." His smile faltered again, "The one thing I regret, more than not being able to save him . . . Was never telling him how much he meant to me. Don't let that happen, Birchpaw. The most painful thing of all is the pain of never saying what you feel."**

"**Birchpaw! Let's go hunting already, I'm as starved as a dead hedgehog!" a loud voice called from outside the den.**

**The small apprentice's eyes lit up, "Th-thank you for telling me, Firestar," he said quickly, bowing his head. "I have to go." When the ginger warrior nodded his approval, Birchpaw dashed out of the den, nearly colliding nose to nose with Berrypaw.**

**Berrypaw jumped back, snorting with laughter, "Geeze, and I thought **_**I**_** was hungry," he joked, flicking his tail over the smaller cat's ears. "Ready to go?"**

**Birchpaw nodded, tripping over his paws a bit as they bounded off towards the thorn tunnel together. "Berrypaw, have you ever even **_**seen**_** a dead hedgehog?"**

"**No."**

"**Then how would you know if it was starving?"**

"**Cause if it was dead, it wouldn't have eaten for awhile, duh."**

**Firestar chuckled as he watched them go, "I wish you both luck," he whispered. His emerald eyes strayed around the camp, looking over his clan with pride. There was little Jaykit, though he was blind from his birth, he seemed content, pawing away at a small black feather on the ground. His older brother Lionkit, was darting between Ashfur's paws as the warrior struggled to deliver moss to the nursery. Ashfur himself was starting to look a bit annoyed, but he had a small smile on his face all the same. It was good to see him smiling again, it had been moons since he had, not since his brother's death. Hollykit was nestled against her mother's belly, Brambleclaw leaning over both she-cats. The light in his eyes had returned after his kits had been born, something the Thunderclan leader was grateful for. It wasn't everyday that some cat was forced to kill their own sibling, especially one they'd cared for as much as their own mate.**

**The firry warrior tilted his head up towards the sky, a distant, but content look in his eyes. "I know it's not the way you wanted it to be," he whispered to no one in particular, "But I'm looking after them. Even if there's still fighting, and bloodshed between the clans, we're better apart. And I'm so glad I got to be a part of it all. You taught me more than you'll ever know, Tigerclaw."**

**RANDOM AUTHOR RAMBLE**

**This was a request from Pyropelt, hope u like! The original request was horribly complicated, and I'm pretty sure it went against some of my morals, sine I'm not so big on BrambleStorm. If it must be slash, I'm a HawkBramble fan. But after some discussion, we came up with this plot. So it's kinda a prequelish thing for Taste Of Pain I guess. I suggested so with Firestar's words about painful love. *thumbs up***

**Anywho . . . You might be getting a lot of oneshots this week. Because . . . Dun dun duuuuhhhnn . . . Omen of The Stars comes out today!! WOOOHOOO!!! (Eight months of waiting, damn it.) And I am going to go buy it . . . Right now. Praise my lovely most awsomeness. I'm scared for Birch and Berry though, all of you wishing something horrible would happen to them just so you could get a Taste Of Pain sequel. D: **

**I had a dream last night about that actually. Where the opening page said that both Birchfall and Leafpool got hit by a falling tree or something. *hyperventilates* No, no, no no. that would be bad. Very bad. STOP JINXING IT GUYS! If such a thing has really happened, we can only blame ourselves. *sniff* and you'll know immediately if it has, because there will be many new oneshots in your possession about such things. **


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